Adoption profile
November 1st, 2009 by kerri
Suzanne Mariencheck considers her children the golden threads of her life tapestry. “I tell my children, ‘Not all mommies can carry a baby in their tummy. So God picks other mommies to carry you for your forever family.” That’s the narrative she weaves as part of the adoption stories she tells of her children, Piper, 6, and Grant, 3.
She is living her dream, being a stay-at-home mom, a dream that almost didn’t come true.
Struck unexpectedly by ovarian cancer at age 21, Suzanne had to quit college and endure a full hysterectomy, followed by weeks of chemotherapy. Instead of worrying about exams, she fretted about the recurrence of cancer. Yet once the treatment was deemed a success, Suzanne moved on with her life, upbeat and confident she would eventually have children of her own.
Six years into her marriage to Joe Mariencheck, the couple decided they were ready to explore adoption. They researched international and domestic adoption, attended adoption forums, and read extensively before settling on a local agency. They wanted to adopt a newborn, a baby that would fill their arms and hearts. With a call to Bethany Christian Services in Memphis in 2001, the wheels were soon put into motion. There was a mountain of paperwork to fill out, home visits to anticipate, and counseling to prepare them for the changes that lay ahead. And then there was the waiting. Eleven long months. Until the call finally came, an answer to their prayers.
Their daughter Piper was born on August 14, 2003, and came home with them just hours after her birth. Since this was a closed adoption, the couple had no contact with the birth mother for several years.
But for the adoption of their second child, Grant, they were interviewed by the birth parents. She and Joe were the second of three interviews conducted by Grant’s birth mother, a girl just 17 at the time. She told Suzanne the minute they met she knew they were the ones. In preparing for the interview, the Marienchecks relied heavily on their adoption counselor, Denise White. It was White who set the tone for those early meetings, talking about what to expect, putting everyone at ease, encouraging each of them to talk about their hopes and dreams. They felt confident enough after Grant’s birth to bring him home the next day, certain he was theirs to keep. His birthday fell just seven days after his sister.
With the adoption of both children, the couple has kept photos and journals of their milestones, information that is shared each year with the birth families. They are in touch with both of the children’s birth parents, and get together with Grant’s birth family several times a year, gathering for a cookout in the summer, or to celebrate the holidays in the winter. Grant’s parents even assembled a life book chronicling their own childhoods leading up to the boy’s birth. “She’s an exceptional girl, really wonderful, and we look forward to the time we get to see them,” says Suzanne. “We consider them extended family.”
Suzanne credits Bethany for counseling both her and her husband as well as the birth family. “They help the birth parents as well as their families begin to resolve their own feelings about making an adoption plan early on, so they can make the best decision for the lives as well as the future of the children.” And with that, they confirm what Suzanne, a cancer survivor, has long known.
“Fear lives in the dark. The more you expose people to the truth, the more comfortable people will feel. Information is comforting to people, it helps to confirm in their mind that their kids are going great, they’re healthy, that they made a good choice.”