The Glamorous Life
September 1st, 2009 by Elizabeth Phillips
We Americans, despite our Puritan roots, love to eat out, and some of our biggest celebrities are chefs. But what do their families eat at home? Is eating still fun for people who work with food all day? And can we mortals learn anything from their mysterious ways?
As kids, my brothers and I urged our dad, who’s a fantastic cook, to open a restaurant. Our uncle did instead — a chic place in Soho called Gordon’s. Whenever we went there, the feeling of glamour almost lifted me off my feet.
Despite Uncle Gordon’s protestations that running a restaurant was hard, dirty work, I thought there was nothing better than being part of a restaurant family. A few dishwashing and waiting jobs in my teens and twenties rubbed off some of the shine, but years later, I still see restaurants with the eyes of a child. And after talking with chefs from a couple of Memphis’s best restaurants, I’m convinced their kids have it good.
Stephen Hassinger, executive chef and innkeeper at the Inn at Hunt-Phelan, has two kids, Theo and Chloe, who’ve grown up in his restaurants. “When Theo was a baby, we used to put him to bed on a prep table,” Hassinger told me in a recent conversation. “Now he likes to dress up in a coat and tie,” like a host. As we spoke, his daughter Chloe was out in the restaurant’s garden gathering figs.
Eden? Tsunami’s chef-owner Ben Smith claims restaurant life for his three, sons Brendan and Ian, and daughter, Ayden, isn’t always paradise — “sometimes the kids have had enough.” But seeing their parents’ hard work (Smith’s wife, Colleen, is also his business partner) has been valuable.
I asked Smith and Hassinger about how they feed their kids at home. I guess it shouldn’t surprise me that both laughed and produced identical answers: “We eat out a lot.” There’s some reciprocity amongst restaurant owners and chefs, making this the easiest and best deal some nights. Of course, most nights the kids dine in.
Now, the food at Hunt-Phelan isn’t exactly spa cuisine — Creole-influenced, rich, with layers of flavor. But in his home kitchen, Hassinger sticks to simple preparations: roast chicken or fish and steamed vegetables for supper; cereal and fresh fruit for breakfast; salad and raw veggies for lunch. No one cooks sweets at home, but there’s plenty of fruit juice in the fridge. Hassinger’s kids can find their way around the kitchen, too. From the age of five, they’ve been taught to use knives safely, beginning with cutting tofu with a butter knife.
Cooper-Young’s Tsunami serves Pacific Rim cuisine, and the international influences extend to the family’s eating habits. They often go for sushi or dim sum, where the small plates encourage sharing new flavors and textures. At home, too, the Smiths’ favorite family meal, Taco Night, allows sharing and experimentation. They set out dishes of sauteéd ground turkey, grated cheese, diced tomatoes, and Colleen’s specialty, ripe olive salsa, alongside soft corn tacos.
“Sometimes it gets competitive,” said Smith, but any tussling over whose taco is the best leads to conversation — a good thing. Both Smith and Hassinger’s daughters have recently become vegetarians, a choice that might stem from their families’ mindfulness about food. Because they encourage sharing both their food and their lives, says Smith, “we can be influenced by their preferences, as they are by ours.” The family meal allows him to stay connected with his increasingly independent teenage son.
Really, the most important influence a parent can have on his kids’ food choices is to provide an example of openness. Hassinger and Smith share the conviction that no foods are off limits. Their kids love seafood, including sushi, squid, and oysters. Nor is there any region whose food is “weird” or “yucky.” Smith also touts the smaller portion sizes and shared dishes typical of the cuisines of other cultures. You can savor a delicious meal and try new flavors without overeating.
And do take your kids to restaurants, says Smith. “There are two schools of thought,” says Smith. Some people believe you should never take kids to restaurants, he explains. But too many adults — some of whom come into Tsunami — clearly feel out of place in a restaurant. “They never learned, never saw their parents treat servers properly.” Obviously, in this economy, most of us are eating out less. But ethnic restaurants provide an opportunity for culinary exploration at a lower price.
Of course, not all dining adventures call for a trip to Summer Avenue. Hassinger recommends an easy and useful strategy for any parent who dreads a family trip to the grocery store. As you walk down the produce aisle with your children, challenge them: “Pick out whatever you want.” At home, prepare the new vegetable simply, steamed, then dotted with butter and seasoned with salt. If no one likes it, don’t make a big deal. The point is to involve the kids in the process and try something new, together.
Over and over, Smith insists on the virtue of “hedonism,” which comes from the Greek word for “pleasure.” We Americans look sideways at pleasure, sometimes viewing it as the snake in the garden. In difficult economic times, though, the pleasure of a good meal shared with family, peppered with good talk, is too dear to miss. Add candles and cloth napkins, and you’ve got a little magic, family-style.
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Colleen’s Salsa Recipe
Courtesy of Ben Smith, Tsunami Restaurant, who says, “This is a staple on Taco Night at our house.”
• 1 can California style ripe black olives, coarsely chopped
• 3-4 ripe tomatoes, diced
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 3 green onions, thinly sliced
• Juice of one lime
• 3 tablespoons chopped cilantro
• Salt and pepper to taste
• Mix all ingredients together well.