Middle School Madness
August 1st, 2009 by Sharon Miller Cindrich
It’s a time to stretch boundaries. A time to challenge authority. A time to carve out an identity and meet new people. It’s middle school, and while it sounds exciting, it can be quite intimidating to both kids and parents.
Leaving the insular environment of elementary school can make even the most confident kids uneasy and nervous. “The biggest challenge for kids at this age is how fast they are changing emotionally and physically in addition to their environment changing so drastically,” says Dr. Susan Bartell, a psychologist who gives seminars to kids transitioning into middle school. “It is monumental to be going through puberty, to struggle with daily social complications and also to balance the challenges of a much more complex middle school curriculum — all at the same time.”
Meeting new kids from other schools is a major part of those first few weeks, says Bartell. “The biggest fear for many students is social — how are they going to negotiate meeting and fitting in with the new kids from the feeder schools that they don’t know,” explains Bartell.
Organization is another huge issue for middle school students, who must juggle a variety of classes, a changing schedule, and several locker combinations along with new friends and new activities. “They’re young and inexperienced and there’s a lot coming at them very quickly. Without basic organizational skills, middle school students can become overwhelmed,” says Susan Mulcaire, author of The Middle School Student’s Guide to Ruling the World!
While this can be a stressful period of change, many kids also welcome the opportunities that middle school provides. “There are a range of experiences that weren’t available in elementary school, like sports, student government, and music,” says Bartell. A chance to try new things and become their own person is a turning point, that fits perfectly with their natural desire for separation from parents, explains Bartell.
While the transition can be tough — it can sometimes take awhile for kids to figure out where they fit in — seeing your child achieve success during this major time of growth can be very satisfying. Make your child’s transition to middle school as smooth as possible by following these tips to boost their self confidence and help them juggle new responsibilities.
Attend orientation. Most schools offer an orientation for incoming middle school students and their parents, offering information on schedules, a tour of the school, and an overview of school policies. Attending these presentations can help demystify the school and put both parents and child at ease.
Organize a home desk. If Junior breezed through homework in elementary school, consider yourself lucky. Middle school homework is generally much more challenging and juggling the demands and expectations of multiple teachers is a learning experience. Set up a work desk at home for your student, post his schedule nearby and stock the space with extra supplies to help your child prepare for the increased workload.
Take a test drive. If your student is concerned about working a combination lock, have him practice at home. Tackling kinks ahead of time will help lighten the load once school starts.
Discuss hot topics. Sex. Drugs. Profanity. “Peer pressure dramatically changes — you must start to talk about alcohol and drugs, and even sex,” says Dr. Bartell, adding that kids will be talking about these topics in middle school, even if they don’t experiment. Make sure you are able to have open discussions and let your child know he can come to you with any questions, even on risqué subjects.
Contact the staff. If you have any major concerns about your child’s transition to middle school, get in touch with your school experts. Most middle schools have a social worker, school psychologist, or guidance counselor available to discuss specific concerns, keep an extra eye on your student, and help ease the transition.
Share your stories. Without scaring them silly, tell your student a few stories about your own middle school experiences. Did you meet a best friend? Join the band? Run track? Remind them that you survived and pass along some of your favorite moments.
