Words To Live By
May 1st, 2009 by Stephanie PainterPhotos by D.B. Kay
As parents, we strive to teach our children the important lessons we believe will help them succeed in life. But in order for our words to take root, they must be mirrored in action. It’s that kind of leadership that shines through in the following profiles:
A mother who is fighting to reunite her family, a couple whose passion for art enables their children to dream, and a family whose Christian faith provides lessons in discipline and service.
- Indira Umarov keeps her family strong while awaiting the freedom of her husband, Sanjar, a prisoner in Uzbekistan. Pictured here with daughters Zarina and Emina and son, Sardor
Facing Crisis Together: The Umarov Family
Dr. Indira Umarov is fighting: for her family, for freedom, for justice.
The Germantown mother works hard to provide a normal upbringing for her five children, while fighting to bring home her husband from prison in Uzbekistan. Dr. Sanjar Umarov has missed birthday celebrations and dance recitals because of his commitment to the people of his homeland. A physicist and entrepreneur, Umarov was working to provide economic assistance to his country when the Uzbekistan government jailed him in 2005.
When she first learned of his incarceration, Indira wrote her husband every day. Later she discovered her letters were being intercepted. The news was devastating. But she didn’t give up hope. Instead, Indira redoubled her efforts to free her husband, an internationally recognized Prisoner of Conscience.
The Umarovs came to the U.S. in 1995 to educate their children. Sanjar worked in agricultural research at Mississippi State University and was planning to start a gas-to-liquids processing facility in Uzbekistan, with the hope of reducing the country’s dependence on imported crude oil. In 2005, Sanjar founded the Sunshine Uzbekistan Coalition, a pro-democracy association of civil groups that sought to open dialogue with the government of Uzbekistan. His aim was to build Western investment in Uzbekistan’s agriculture and petroleum industries. His work led to his arrest and an eight-year prison sentence for economic crimes.
When she received word of Sanjar’s fate, Indira and her sons sought international support. U.S. legislators passed a Congressional Companion Resolution calling for Umarov’s fair treatment, and human rights organizations protested his apparent torture. (The repressive Uzbek government has a record of human rights violations.) The family’s petition, signed by thousands worldwide, calls on international human rights organizations to secure Umarov’s immediate release.
Against this international backdrop, Indira remains steadfast, making sure her children’s lives have a sense of normalcy. “I want my children to have happy childhoods even though my husband is suffering,” she says. To that end, her 7- and 10-year-old daughters are busy with school and dance, while sons Sardor and Arslan attend college. Eldest son Gulam carries on his father’s dream, leading the nonprofit and pushing to implement democratic and human rights reforms in the former Soviet state.
Though the children wish their situation was different, they are learning from their parents the importance of standing up for their beliefs.
“My father’s circle was much greater than most, more than just taking care of family,” says Sardor. “He wants to help 27 million people back in Uzbekistan. He couldn’t stay quiet when there was some injustice. He always said, ‘I do this so that when you grow up, I can look you in the eyes and you will know that I tried my best.’”
The Umarov brothers escort their sisters to Donuts with Dad events at school and greet guests at the girls’ birthday parties. Community support has also been strong, “I have gotten so much positive energy from neighbors and friends, with their letters, support, and help,” says Indira.
Last fall, Indira traveled to Uzbekistan to visit her husband of 31 years. It was their first reunion since his arrest, long postponed due to visa restrictions. She found her husband thinner, his health more tenuous. Despite such trying times, Indira continues to fight and is shaping a remarkable family. Through their parents’ powerful example, the young Umarovs are learning valuable life lessons.
“I am still fighting for my husband’s life,” says Indira. “My grandmother told me, ‘I hope everyone will live happily ever after, but be prepared for life’s uncertainties.’ ”
Levi and Deborah Frazier with children Levi II, and Ayana, and granddaughter Leah.
Sharing the Joy of Faith: The Goble Family
The stereotypical depiction of clergy as stern, rigid people doesn’t fit the Goble family. Mark and Kim Goble are a contemporary couple who practice their Christian faith with joy while passing along the importance of self-discipline and service. Mark is an associate pastor at Christ the King Lutheran Church; Kim is a financial representative for Thrivent Financial for Lutherans. The couple are raising sons, Evan, 14, Trevor, 12, and daughter Elizabeth, 10.
Mark views Christian love as “a joyful kind of striving, one that’s not always easy.” Love takes many forms, he says, in fairness, firmness, and forgiveness. “There’s a healthy balance between a child who is his own person, with his own dreams and personality, yet is respectful of his elders,” says Mark. “The best love is rooted in discipline, and the best discipline is rooted in love.”
The children are involved in the usual afterschool activities of basketball games and piano lessons, but their schedules also include their dad’s visitation times. The kids go with Mark on his calls to parishioners when returning home from school or church, so the kids see faith in action, learning what it means to be responsible to others.
The couple expects each child to give his or her personal best. By helping them set personal goals and develop leadership skills, the Gobles hope to equip their children for success. “We take breaks and have fun, but instill that they are responsible for doing their best at school,” Kim says.
The Gobles’ family mission also draws on lessons learned from their own childhoods. During a difficult time in Mark’s adolescence, his parents’ love remained constant, conveying to him that he was “a precious, important person with all sorts of dreams.” As a parent, he tries to pass on that same message.
Confidence and strength in difficult situations are also values the couple work to instill. But ultimately, faith is their cornerstone.
Eight years ago, when Kim’s brother died in a drowning accident, “My kids watched me go through my grief, and saw the peace which passes all understanding that God gave me about eternal life,” she says. “They know that Mark and I don’t live in fear of death, and that God stands by us no matter what we might endure in life.”
Kim and Mark Goble with children Trevor, Elzabeth, and Evan
Nurturing Creativity: The Frazier Family
Levi and Deborah Frazier credit their passion for the theater and creative endeavors as a beacon that’s helped guide their children to artistic endeavors of their own.
Daughter Ayana and son Levi II performed in their father’s plays before audiences in Paris. In those days, the family packed suitcases frequently.
“Theatre was a huge part of our lives,” says Frazier, a playwright and assistant professor of theater and oral communication at Southwest Community College. “My wife and I showed our family that creativity is valid, and that it can make you a better person.”
Life in the theater gave the Frazier children a passport to explore other outlets for their creativity. Levi’s parents set a similar example when he was growing up in the Glenview and Binghampton neighborhoods.
“If I were interested in something, my parents went out of their way to help, and took me to theater rehearsals and piano lessons.”
His wife Deborah, general manager of Blues City Cultural Center, shared Levi’s vision. When their kids developed new interests, the couple arranged hands-on learning. Levi II had the chance to intern at architectural firms throughout high school. Matthew, now in college and an award-winning documentary maker, got his start as a teenage volunteer at Memphis City School’s Cable TV 19. He produced his first video at age 13, using a camera his father gave him.
As the couple nurtured creativity, they also encouraged entrepreneurialism. The kids learned business savvy by cutting grass, videotaping events, and designing T-shirts.
“I felt this would foster a sense of independence, give them a stronger work ethic, and teach them that as entrepreneurs, they have the ultimate responsibility of getting the job done,” says Levi.
Those lessons have paid off, since their children, who are now adults, bring “a stick-to-it-ness that goes beyond the call of duty.”
Levi believes taking the time to get to know his children was one of the best gifts he shared. As a parent, he drew on other valuable lessons from his childhood. “My mother would say, ‘Charity begins at home and spreads abroad.’ She taught us that it was important to walk in truth, to be responsible, and do the right thing.”
With their kids raised successfully, Levi and his wife are passing the baton on to their teenage granddaughter, Leah. Says Levi, “It may be a different time and place, but you keep doing the things that work.”